A.W. (Peter) Machen to Arthur Machen

June 14, 1969

Camp Lejeune, NC

Dear Pop,

Things are going very well and I'm looking forward to being home in 13 days.

I thought I was through with classrooms, teachers and studying when I enlisted in the Marines, but not so.  As a matter of fact the classes are very intensive and very demanding of one's attention.  I wish I was in school now.  I never really knew how easy I had it, but I have no regrets.

As I told you over the phone, I have orders for Sea School after my leave.  It's a great thing and I'm very pleased about it.  Somehow I sensed a vicarious sense of excitement from you, and old salty yourself, over the phone.

Well, to be frank Dad, I changed my mind.  I feel guilty about telling my family some good news then discover I spoke too soon without really thinking, but I guess I'm like that he had a lot of ways.  What I'm trying to say is, I've decided to go to Vietnam.  I put a lot of thought into this decision.  I've been through so much training and sweat.  Now I have a gravy job waiting for me and I don't really feel I'm ready for it.  Why?  I don't really know.  Why did I join the Marines in the first place?  I believe the answer to both these questions are the same: I'm not fully satisfied with myself and I've got a long way to go before spit and polish.  To be as honest as I can I'll have to say I'll just want to prove a lot of things to myself.

If I do go, I can still go to Sea School when I get back and get into embassy duty in Washington for the rest of my tour in the Marine Corps.

The government is going to make a thoroughly complete investigation on me sometime this year.  From what I've been told it costs the Marine Corps a lot of time and money and they don't want to go through all that just to get myself blown away in Nam.  I've requested that my orders be changed.  It takes a lot of red tape and paper work but the career officer said it may be too late but he would do what he could.

I was going to wait and tell you when I got home but I figured it best to inform you now.  If anyone feels as though I've dealt built up on high hopes then let them down, I'm sorry.  But I've made up my mind.  If anyone can understand me, it’s you Pop.  As always, thanks for listening.

Love to all,

Pete